Shatlas Gragged

Wall Street Journal's editorial page is always good for if not a few good laughs, then certainly a "Whaaaa?!"

Today, David Kelley, founder of the Cato Institute, wrote in praise of Ayn Rand: "She was notorious as an advocate of "the virtue of selfishness..." Then he goes on about her potrayal about the "passion and glory possible in business enterprise." And so forth and so on.

As a mother of four, I'll tell you about the virtue of selfishness. The only defensibly selfish human is a kid. As every new parent will tell you, when you bring that baby home, you've gained possession of a tiny little tyrant. He will cry, he will demand attention, and he will achieve these goals only at the expense of two very haggard parents. If Kelley feels selfishness is a virtue in corporate values, then in my narrow mother focus, business must be pissing on someone...consumers, governments...just like a kid.

I don't mind selfishness, but given that an undisciplined kid turns into a huge pain in the neck teenager, I'd advise unselfish types to start acting a little like parents. Give the corporation a time when it has to bring home the family car. Give the corporation a tax rebate type allowance, but make sure it does the chores. If you catch the corporation sneaking a few illegal deductions, ground it for a while. Make sure the corporation calls the old folks from time to time. When they make a mess, make sure they clean up, and on each and every Thursday, make sure they take out the trash. Oh, they'll scream and curse and make a fuss, sure. But for the sake of the future, you have to be strict.

I'm all for business and corporations, but Ayn Rand was never a mother.